half man, half inappropriate

See you at the crossroads.

I didn’t really meet him until my second year at UCI, but I’d seen him around.  An Asian dude shorter than me who dressed like a thug—I had no idea gangsters were so interested in computer science.  He carried a very slight accent when he publicly spoke in my video game culture class, but I couldn’t figure him out.  I’m usually good at distinguishing among the slanted eyes, but “Xai Lor” was about as ambiguous of an Oriental name to me as “Chang Nguyen.”

At one point in my college career, I was especially interested in computer graphics, so much so that I took an unexpectedly difficult class about it.  I might have impressed the sh!t out of the instructor with my prior knowledge of normalizing vectors and calculating dot products, but I struggled to absorb the new concepts she taught.  Luckily, I noticed that the thug from my Computer Science courses, Xai, was battling this class along with me.  In a joint effort to pass this difficult-ass upper division course, we studied together and teamed up for the final project.

My time spent kicking it with Xai consisted of breaking down and reaffirming all of my assumptions about him that my ignorance constructed.  After Facebooking him, I finally learned that he was Hmong according to his “About Me” section which pointed to a Wikipedia link about the Hmong people.  After browsing that link, I learned that AzN Pride missed an ethnic group in their “Got Rice” song.  It was like sailing three Spanish galleons and accidentally discovering the Americas.  He was originally from Sacramento.  He had a big family.  He, too, loved computers, technology, and video games.  He, too, built his own desktop.  He, too, loved hip hop.  He was, however, the only guy I knew with a Zune.

Xai taught me how to have a good time as a college student.  He’d invite me over to parties over at his place where that brewed fermented wheat resided.  Up until I met Xai, I never stepped foot inside a nightclub, but I did play a lot of Team Fortress 2.  I had only seen clubs in rap videos until then.  He showed me how young adults spent their Thursday nights.  Twas traumatizing in a good way; he pulled me out of my comfort zone and showed me a world of loud, bloody ear canal-inducing music combined with styles of inebriated dance banned in middle schools.  Never have my horizons been so broadened.  Who knew you could put other liquids in a water bottle other than water?

“You can write lyrics, right?” he asked me in early February of 2010, “you wanna rap with me at an open mic at UC Riverside?”  Stage time?  Down like town.  He gave me a simple objective: write rhymes about college/UCI.  When I began writing two verses (my own and his English verse) for the open mic, I was already working on a stand-up set which I’d also get a chance to perform.  We decided to rap on the “Forever” instrumental by Drizzy, Yeezy, Weezy, and Eminem.  Twas quite exciting for me because I never dropped rhymes on stage for an audience before—only jokes.

Before attending the Hmong Student Association open mic at UC Riverside, I had only met two Hmongs: Xai and his ex-girlfriend.  The night of the open mic, I walked into an auditorium filled with an endless field of them.  Luckily, I blended right in except for my last name.  They were a great, supportive audience even though I fumbled my rap due to lack of memorization.  Xai and I even attended the after-party at some dude’s house where there were once again Hmongs everywhere.  I was surrounded by the warmest group of people who knew how to have a good time.  The next day, my Facebook wall would be flooded with new Hmong friendships.

We’d have plenty of Hmong-based adventures: Halloween parties, birthday parties, kick-backs, etc.  Xai and I even worked together developing websites for currency.  Another HSA open mic came around in November of 2010, and not only did Xai want us to drop rhymes, he wanted to bust moves with four of our other Hmong friends, too.  In addition to writing a verse (this time about post-college life), I had to learn a dance routine within a week.  With his passion for dancing, he just made it look so effortless as he taught me the choreography at his apartment.  His rhymes were enthusiastic.  His moves were flawless.

He just seemed like he’d be around forever.  I came back from a camping trip the other weekend and turned on my smartphone to receive tragic news of the contrary.  We were the same age.  We just graduated last year, man.  That car accident took away an all-around good guy so suddenly.  It feels like I was playing Defense of the Ancients with him just yesterday.  My heart goes out to Xai’s family and friends enduring these tough times.  Rest in peace, Roliax.  It’s impossible to forget you.

“If you admire somebody, you should go ‘head and tell’em. People never get the flowers while they can still smell’em.” — Yeezy, “Big Brother”

Good riddance, Abomination

Your troll face got no place in this world lacking solace
There’s no way we’ll be friends, it’s the end, and that’s okay
A baron wasteland is all I see in Aaron’s face, man
Why you cancel laid plans or drop in hours late, man?
Remember when your act was constituent? It’s ridiculous
Now you’re acting under the influence like you don’t give a sh!t
The rise and fall of Tuan goes like this in song:
Never did us wrong, kept it going on, kicking it ‘til dawn
Now we have to get you out the house by lying to your mom
I never knew the meaning of hate until you came along
The last good thing you did was save us from being stranded
Now I wanna front hand and backhand you straight to another planet
Damn it, how could a man plan to be such a failure
Your abomination aura brings the party down in valor
Stack your paper, study real hard and get a real job
Your parents didn’t pay for a Bruin to be a slob
Then, we’d plan outings, pho runs, drinks, and clownings
Guess your were just mouthing, “Yeah, of course, I’ll be there.
Await my arrival, I want you all to prepare.
I’m coming to town, so please keep all of your plans clear.”
9 PM. Where the f*ck’s that dumbass, Aaron Bui?
12 AM. Where the f*ck’s that dumbass, Aaron Bui?
12:30 he arrived. The abomination’s now on duty.
He didn’t fail just once, several times he’d do this to me
And it doesn’t phase you, no shame, just insolence
Gave you plenty of chances like, “This time’ll be different.”
Enjoy the wins in poker, the only time you get something
You got one thing right, Aaron. You are the bigger nothing.