January 2012
3 posts
November 2011
0 posts
7 tags
September 2011
1 post
6 tags
August 2011
1 post
2 tags
June 2011
2 posts
3 tags
3 tags
See you at the crossroads.
I didn’t really meet him until my second year at UCI, but I’d seen him around. An Asian dude shorter than me who dressed like a thug—I had no idea gangsters were so interested in computer science. He carried a very slight accent when he publicly spoke in my video game culture class, but I couldn’t figure him out. I’m usually good at distinguishing among the slanted...
May 2011
1 post
3 tags
Good riddance, Abomination
Your troll face got no place in this world lacking solace There’s no way we’ll be friends, it’s the end, and that’s okay A baron wasteland is all I see in Aaron’s face, man Why you cancel laid plans or drop in hours late, man? Remember when your act was constituent? It’s ridiculous Now you’re acting under the influence like you don’t give a sh!t The...
March 2011
2 posts
February 2011
1 post
2 tags
January 2011
2 posts
Repetitiously scratching a StarCraft 2 SCV saying...
6 tags
My homie, James, acquired some turntables, and now...
December 2010
2 posts
4 tags
November 2010
3 posts
2 tags
3 tags
2 tags
I fell on a coffee table.
That’s probably the story I told you if you’ve been curious about the scar on my face for the past four years. I apologize for covering up the truth, but if I had actually let everybody know what really happened, I probably wouldn’t have gotten the chance to not live at home for my college years. Now that I’m back home where I’ll have breakfast every day, it’s...
tumblrbot asked: WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?
October 2010
7 posts
3 tags
14 tags
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
I wish I didn’t spend all that time in my youth playing video games. Only God knows how many hours I spent on Mortal Kombat 3 seeing all the fatalities and animalities, Twisted Metal 2 “enhancing” the game with a GameShark, Final Fantasy VII just playing it, etc. That time could have been spent socializing with people and not being awkward/inappropriate.
I wish I didn’t...
1 tag
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
“Aww sh!t, what was that bit again? Why didn’t I write that sh!t down when I had a chance? Oh, I know. It’s because this phone is slow as hell.”
“Damnit, why do you have to look like that? Why do you have to make this so difficult?!”
“I hope I get that job. I need to rise up out of the hood of Irvine, California. In two decades, this place will be...
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Be a fan of hip hop (Bonus points if you can spit hot fire. More bonus points if you can do so literally)
Be a fan of stand-up comedy
Finish any reference I recall (Bonus points are directly proportional to the reference’s obscurity)
Recall a reference that I actually have to think hard about in order to finish (Bonus points once again directly proportional to the reference’s...
September 2010
4 posts
14 tags
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
I’m very good at history, but only history since I’ve been born. I can tell you what went down in whatever month and year I was alive, what was playing on the radio, and other obscure pieces of trivia. There are plenty of gaps in my knowledge though. What you might think would be common knowledge in 1993, I might have no idea about it. However, you might wonder why I even...
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten...
Incredibly good-ass times. You know I got your back, and I know you got mine. I can’t believe it’ll almost be over. I wager that I’ll be as homesick as I was four years, but for a different reason.
I seriously appreciate the gesture. Thank you for proving the goodness in your heart that I always knew existed; the paranoid part of mind kept saying otherwise, but you are...
2 tags
10 Day Challenge
rockpapercherries:
heckyeahtumblrchallenges:
kimxyzee:
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now. Day Two: Nine things about yourself. Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart. Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot. Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done. Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever) Day Seven: Four turn offs. Day...
3 tags
August 2010
5 posts
2 tags
"Are you from Texas?"
I didn’t always sound like this. In fact, I actually used to sound like I was born and raised in Orange County. If a word ended with an ng, I wouldn’t just stop at the n. I wouldn’t get lazy with ending consonants. I enunciated my vowels just the way a Caucasian kid living in Irvine would enunciate vowels. Somewhere along the line, sh!t done changed.
Puberty hit me quickly...
“You drank a 40? You really like Black culture from the 1980s and 1990s,...”
– Paul Lao
3 tags
4 tags
July 2010
3 posts
2 tags
A Filipino Mother's Love
[calls mom]
[mom finally picks up after a few rings]
[phone static for a few seconds]
Me: ...Hello?
[phone static for a few more seconds]
Mom: [yells "Putang ina mo!" at something]
June 2010
2 posts
7 tags
Best Friends Forever I
James: Truth or dare
Me: Truth
James: R u gay
Me: I am not gay
James: Ok now i dare you to in to the bathroom and take a picture of your ass and send it to davids cell
Me: i'll send one to Paul too
James: Lol do it once a day until you die
Me: HAHAH
James: And then put in your will that they compile all the images of your ass youve sent into a stop motion film and show it at your funeral
1 tag
Bad Words
I had to write this. I’ve been disturbed ever since my brother questioned my salvation just because I playfully call my sister a bitch all the time in addition to “ho” and “triflin’-ass bitch.” It’s usually the first word I say as I enter the house if she’s the first person I see. That’s sibling love.
I actually got in trouble in 6th grade...
May 2010
1 post
4 tags
Evolution of My Musical Tastes
I first became aware of my own existence around the age of three. I know this because I actually remember asking my dad how old I was. He told me that I was three years old, and I went back to playing Super Mario World. Though I have even earlier memories such as my mom changing my diaper, I’m going to say age three was when my consciousness became a continuous stream rather than a set of...
April 2010
1 post
1 tag
Are you afraid of dying?
I’m not afraid of dying, but I am afraid of HOW I will die.
Let’s play Truth or Truth! Only it’s never my turn!
March 2010
2 posts
4 tags
How I Spent My Spring Break
Dear Journal,
Hi, it’s me, Doug. Only kidding—you know and I know I have no friends named Skeeter. I don’t think I’d want to have a friend named Skeeter for several reasons which go beyond the scope of this blog post. Anyway, I’m otherwise reminded of my elementary school days when I had to write about my summer vacations or what not. I’ll try to write...
Another Awkward Day in The Life of Andrew J. Santa...
Andrew: so basically.. i have so quesadillas in a ziplock bag that i microwaved
Andrew: i don't have any plates or anything
Andrew: so i was just gonna use some paper towels and pour hot sauce on them sh!ts
Andrew: so i open the fridge
Andrew: take the hot sauce out and place it on the counter
Andrew: and then the korean receptionist lady walks in
Andrew: "heyyy" i say.. and she returns the "heyyy"
Andrew: basically, i wanted to avoid the embarrassment of explaining that i was going to pour hot sauce into a paper towel..
Andrew: so i just left the f*cking kitchen with the hot sauce bottle still on the counter
Andrew: i also wanted to avoid having to talk to her
Jennifer: HAHAHAH
Jennifer: god you're so awkward
Jennifer: i love it
November 2009
1 post
Well played, Sandy. Well played.
Sandy: haha i´m going to be really touch and go between now and the next two hours
Sandy: making dinner and i´m already beihnd
Andrew: interesting
Andrew: whatcha cooking, nigga?
Sandy: lasagna
Andrew: you never seen tokyo breakfast huh
Sandy: uh uh
Andrew: the answer i was looking for was "your favorite, nigga. chicken and waffles!"
Sandy: oh my bad
Andrew: but lasagna's cool, too, i guess
Sandy: haha obvio
Sandy: ok heading to the kitchen
Sandy: i will ttyl!
Andrew: where you belong
Andrew: peace
Sandy: haha
Sandy: god you´r e still single aren´t you
October 2009
3 posts
Another awkward day in the life of Andrew J. Santa...
[walking toward a street he needs to cross while trying to clip a pencil to his pocket]
[sees a parked police car along with two police officers nearby]
[begins to cross the street, but at the same time, wants to be a courteous citizen]
[tilts head to greet]
Andrew: Hey, how are you doing?
[realizes he's already in the middle of the street, impeding a now decelerating car]
[backs up to let the car pass and runs in front of the slowly moving car that was following the other one]
[still can't clip the pencil to his pocket]
I needed to pay off a citation by today, but my...
Sister: Doing the deposit into your checking right now bitch 2:21 PM
Me: Thanks. no jail rape for me 2:25 PM
Sister: Check ur account to make sure they did it correctly 2:25 PM
Me: They did. Thanks! 2:30 PM
Sister: Ur welcome, u will still get raped some day haha 2:31 PM
September 2009
3 posts
Week 0 of Fall Quarter 2009 @ University of...
Fudge, man, just read my twitter!
Otherwise, I suppose I had a good first two days. Yesterday, I went to my computer science class that has to do with formal languages and automata. That class just feels like it’ll be painful later in the quarter. It was awfully cold in that room; I could tell by my instructor’s nipples. After that class, I walked around the student center because I...
I must be getting older
Why the fudge do I even blog? Most of you know exactly what I’m going through just by reading my Twitter (for the record, it’s here). I’m gonna try to “reflect.” Brace yourself.
Damn, I grew up. I’ve been changing too much this past year. I swapped video games for people, booze, and cigs (yes, in that order—and not literally). Because of that, this...