half man, half inappropriate

See you at the crossroads.

I didn’t really meet him until my second year at UCI, but I’d seen him around.  An Asian dude shorter than me who dressed like a thug—I had no idea gangsters were so interested in computer science.  He carried a very slight accent when he publicly spoke in my video game culture class, but I couldn’t figure him out.  I’m usually good at distinguishing among the slanted eyes, but “Xai Lor” was about as ambiguous of an Oriental name to me as “Chang Nguyen.”

At one point in my college career, I was especially interested in computer graphics, so much so that I took an unexpectedly difficult class about it.  I might have impressed the sh!t out of the instructor with my prior knowledge of normalizing vectors and calculating dot products, but I struggled to absorb the new concepts she taught.  Luckily, I noticed that the thug from my Computer Science courses, Xai, was battling this class along with me.  In a joint effort to pass this difficult-ass upper division course, we studied together and teamed up for the final project.

My time spent kicking it with Xai consisted of breaking down and reaffirming all of my assumptions about him that my ignorance constructed.  After Facebooking him, I finally learned that he was Hmong according to his “About Me” section which pointed to a Wikipedia link about the Hmong people.  After browsing that link, I learned that AzN Pride missed an ethnic group in their “Got Rice” song.  It was like sailing three Spanish galleons and accidentally discovering the Americas.  He was originally from Sacramento.  He had a big family.  He, too, loved computers, technology, and video games.  He, too, built his own desktop.  He, too, loved hip hop.  He was, however, the only guy I knew with a Zune.

Xai taught me how to have a good time as a college student.  He’d invite me over to parties over at his place where that brewed fermented wheat resided.  Up until I met Xai, I never stepped foot inside a nightclub, but I did play a lot of Team Fortress 2.  I had only seen clubs in rap videos until then.  He showed me how young adults spent their Thursday nights.  Twas traumatizing in a good way; he pulled me out of my comfort zone and showed me a world of loud, bloody ear canal-inducing music combined with styles of inebriated dance banned in middle schools.  Never have my horizons been so broadened.  Who knew you could put other liquids in a water bottle other than water?

“You can write lyrics, right?” he asked me in early February of 2010, “you wanna rap with me at an open mic at UC Riverside?”  Stage time?  Down like town.  He gave me a simple objective: write rhymes about college/UCI.  When I began writing two verses (my own and his English verse) for the open mic, I was already working on a stand-up set which I’d also get a chance to perform.  We decided to rap on the “Forever” instrumental by Drizzy, Yeezy, Weezy, and Eminem.  Twas quite exciting for me because I never dropped rhymes on stage for an audience before—only jokes.

Before attending the Hmong Student Association open mic at UC Riverside, I had only met two Hmongs: Xai and his ex-girlfriend.  The night of the open mic, I walked into an auditorium filled with an endless field of them.  Luckily, I blended right in except for my last name.  They were a great, supportive audience even though I fumbled my rap due to lack of memorization.  Xai and I even attended the after-party at some dude’s house where there were once again Hmongs everywhere.  I was surrounded by the warmest group of people who knew how to have a good time.  The next day, my Facebook wall would be flooded with new Hmong friendships.

We’d have plenty of Hmong-based adventures: Halloween parties, birthday parties, kick-backs, etc.  Xai and I even worked together developing websites for currency.  Another HSA open mic came around in November of 2010, and not only did Xai want us to drop rhymes, he wanted to bust moves with four of our other Hmong friends, too.  In addition to writing a verse (this time about post-college life), I had to learn a dance routine within a week.  With his passion for dancing, he just made it look so effortless as he taught me the choreography at his apartment.  His rhymes were enthusiastic.  His moves were flawless.

He just seemed like he’d be around forever.  I came back from a camping trip the other weekend and turned on my smartphone to receive tragic news of the contrary.  We were the same age.  We just graduated last year, man.  That car accident took away an all-around good guy so suddenly.  It feels like I was playing Defense of the Ancients with him just yesterday.  My heart goes out to Xai’s family and friends enduring these tough times.  Rest in peace, Roliax.  It’s impossible to forget you.

“If you admire somebody, you should go ‘head and tell’em. People never get the flowers while they can still smell’em.” — Yeezy, “Big Brother”